How I Escaped my 9 Month funk.

Nine months ago I separated my shoulder skiing. Yoga has never really been the same to me since then.

Actually, a lot has never really been the same to me sense then.

Not necessarily because I separated my shoulder. That is not a terribly horrible accident to recover from. Of course it was very painful, took a couple months of PT, lots of sleepless nights, weeks of not being able to brush my hair and a killer sadness for not being able to ski the mountain I called my backyard.

But there are people recovering from and going through a lot worse.

What I am getting at is, life throws us curveballs.

I use the separated shoulder, as less of a hardship and more of an event on a timeline.

Before the shoulder incident, I had plans. I was pretty motivated. I was gaining lots of confidence skiing (hence the accident), I was in love with my home, my friends were (are) the bomb dot com, I enjoyed my job etc etc. I had plans to see all fifty sates before my 25th birthday (which was about seven months away at this point).

I had a plane ticket booked to Alaska.

Then the shoulder did its thing.

I cancelled the trip, due to injury, inability to plan and make up my mind about anything.

Things changed.

I lost motivation, I lost direction. I felt like I was moving backwards. I was in a pretty deep funk. I did not know exactly what was causing it, but part of┬áthe problem was that I had been living in the same place for almost two years. I think it really came down to the fact that I loved where I was, absolutely loved it. But me being in love and staying where I was, took me away from my more intense goal of wanting to “See all the places”.

I told myself that I wanted to use my twenties to live in as many different places as possible.

Who would I be, if I spent THREE birthdays in the same little ski town.

I wouldn’t be me. That is what it came down to.

I am realizing all of this now.

Right now, is three months after my 25th birthday.

I saw all fifty states. (Yes I eventually made it to Alaska). I left my home that I love so much, in Colorado. I came home to spend time with family. And I recently booked a ticket to live in a new place. A new country. A new continent.

And I reintroduced to myself, the power of yoga. This week.

This week, I wrote an interview story about Jenn Fagundes.

About a month and a half ago I wrote an interview story about two Australian boys I met in Oregon, who had just rode bicycles across the United States. They eventually made their way to my home in New Hampshire, and we connected for a couple days in the Northeast.

About a week after that, I wrote an interview story about my friend Laken’s family coffee roasting company, Bearded Baby, in Breckenridge, Colorado.

About two weeks after that I wrote an interview story about Sampson, a Colorado raised dreamer who has been living out of his refurbished 1970s VW van for the last year.

And then came Gypsy Vodka. The inspiring and beautiful story of two twin brothers coming together and creating a soulful vodka company that is more than just booze, it is a lifestyle and a lifestyle created on passion, desire and truth.

The latest interview story I wrote is about Jenn, the Gypsy.

And I have many more to come.

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It took me until recently to understand that my purpose is to share stories. I have always loved to write. I have always loved to be raw and honest because I think those are the most relatable characteristics we have as human beings.

So why would I not share the raw and honest stories of those people who inspire me.

If I can be inspired by somebody, cannot you?

This makes sense to me. In so many ways that I never predicted.

I interview somebody. I read their authentic words. I learn from them.

Every time I read another persons story, I feel something different. IT amazes me, every time I think about this, that there are billions of people on this planet, and each one of us holds our own unique story, our own purpose, our own presentation of reality, our own dreams. We all hold our own potential for inspiration.

All I want to do is share that potential from each and every person.

Each time I share somebody else story, I feel as though…

A. I am learning something

B. They are gaining confidence in the person that they are

C. The people reading their story are becoming inspired

It all comes full circle. Maybe I am naive to the fact that such small acts cannot create change, but I would be lying if I said I don’t see it working already.

This brings me back to yoga.

Yoga has never been the same since I separated my shoulder, nine months ago.

Of course yoga is mindful. You don’t need to be the strongest person. Heck you don’t even need all of your limbs to do yoga. Yoga IS mindful. And that is what I was missing.

I had a part of me holding myself back because my shoulder felt weak or in pain. I felt as though a simple upward dog would never be possible the way it once was. I felt as though I would be doing push ups on my knees for the rest of my life. Crow pose was out of the question, and I was spiritually crushed. I even paid for a $165.00 yoga membership, only to go three times and get down on myself even more.

This all held true until I wrote a story about Jenn.

Her soulful ability to empower me is something I don’t even think she knows she accomplished. Which is partially why I need to write this, now.

For a week or two, I worked on Jenn’s story. I re-read her interview questions, stalked her on Instagram to see what inspired her, and wrote honestly about the way I saw her soul, based on the way she presented it.

She inspired me. She inspired me to go outside, even though it was chilly, to breathe, look at the sky, remember the immensity of the universe, smile and present myself to the present moment positively and with only gratitude.

For a week I did this. For a week I reminded myself of why it was yoga is so important to me. I reminded myself of how it keeps me grounded and thankful. I breathed and I flowed, until I was in crow pose, without even knowing why or how.

I repeatedly told myself “you are strong and you can do this” until all of a sudden I was in my arm balance, and I was sturdy, strong and feeling liberated from that funk that began nine months ago.

The universe moves us in strange strange ways. We are not always aware of what is happening, but we eventually realize that we were put in certain situations, have met certain people or made certain choices for reasons unknown to us at the time.

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This is only an example.

Each story that I have written has inspired me.

Each story that I will write will inspire me.

The beauty to me, is that even if I am the only one that feels something when I share these “Words from wanderers”, that is 100% okay. Because I am one person in this giant place we live in. And if all I am doing is saving my own self, guiding my own self and encouraging my own self though this experience, that is the purpose of all of this.

I hope that I can inspire others and I hope that I am encouraging people to be their most raw and beautiful selves, but mostly I am okay because this process is allowing me to accept the person that I am.

 

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